


Ted, The "Accidental" Matchmaker

by lunaraindrop



Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Canon Bisexual Character, Canon Divergence- Season 1 AU, Canon Gay Character, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff and Humor, Getting Together, Humor, M/M, Matchmaking, Oral Sex, Protective Eliot Waugh, Romance, Romantic Fluff, Slow Dancing, Ted is an awesome Matchmaker, These two are ridiculous, Weddings, lots of making out, romantic sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:27:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23452444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunaraindrop/pseuds/lunaraindrop
Summary: Season One Canon Divergence AUTed "accidentally" sets in motion things that lead Quentin and Eliot to get together. All Q has to do is get Eliot to be his date for his cousin's wedding. What could possibly go awry?Meanwhile, with opened eyes to his friend's sexuality, can Eliot use this wedding as an opportunity to make Quentin his? Will he have help from another Coldwater?
Relationships: Quentin Coldwater/Eliot Waugh
Comments: 16
Kudos: 104





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Another cleaned-up version of a Tumblr original! Because we all need some Queliot fluff and humor, right?
> 
> Comments and Kudos = Love!

* * *

So…Quentin’s dad messed up. Big time. He sheepishly told Quentin on the phone just how much he did.

“Jesus, Dad! Why would you say that?!”

“I panicked! I didn’t know you weren’t getting your mail at your school! When your aunt mentioned coming to the wedding, I thought you confirmed the RSVP! I didn’t know that _she_ was confirming!”

Quentin pressed his forehead against the concrete pillar near the payphone. “Okay, yeah, Aunt Karen is a piece of work. I get that. How the hell did I end up agreeing to being a groomsman **and** somehow having a serious boyfriend?!”

Quentin could almost see his dad wringing his hands. The man had so many nervous tells. “Well, you know my sister. She talked to me in circles! I thought you had RSVPed with a plus one. She wondered if you were bringing _‘some nice boy home to meet’_ -“

Quentin flailed the hand that wasn’t holding the phone in the air. “I don’t know any ‘nice boys’! All my guy friends are assholes!-“

Ted talked over his son, continuing his story. “- I said _‘He is?’_ Next thing I know she’s excited to meet your boyfriend!”

“Oh my God, Dad, you two have got to learn to communicate. This is the middle school Halloween party all over again.”

“You made a great Powerpuff Girl. The pictures were adorable.”

Quentin really couldn’t argue with that. The pictures were pretty adorable. It didn’t mean he didn’t have a point though dammit! “Yeah, okay, but, I-ah thought I was going to be the Green Power Ranger! I sucked at being Buttercup! I’m clearly a Blossom!”

“You were the best darn Buttercup there ever was, Curly Q.”

He could tell his dad was about to go off on a tangent, and this was really **_really_** not the time to let him go off on a tangent. “Dad, that that still does not answer why I have a fitting tomorrow!”

Ted’s sigh carried through the receiver. “Your cousin Wesley and one of his groomsmen had a falling out. There are four bridesmaids and only three groomsmen now. She said you and the guy had similar builds.”

So, average American male height, a little bit of muscle tone from practicing tuts, carrying heavy tomes, and yoga. And only _slightly_ malnourished because he had a friend that would pretend he needed a taste tester and feed him fancy food he had never heard of, but only when he was depressed.

Right. What a winner the other groomsman must have been.

“Fuck.”

“Language, Quentin.”

“I’ve been cussing since I’ve been old enough to talk, Dad. I kinda need to right now.”

“Still, you’re not copying me when I dropped a hammer on my foot. Is this really the time?”

Quentin felt his panic grow. “Dad, don’t you get it? I would have skipped going to this thing. Now I have to be in front of all those people, and without a date!”

“How about you ask that one friend of yours?”  
  
Oh no. He wasn’t suggesting…was he?!

“You know, that good friend of yours you told me about.”

He **was**. If he didn’t know his dad as well as he did, he would swear the man was trying to play matchmaker instead of confessing his flub.

“Dad…”

Ted was starting to heighten his pitch, trying to sound nonchalant. The meddler! “The tall, handsome one? The one that dresses well and makes you feel at _home_?”

Quentin’s mouth dropped open incredulously, and stared wide, accusing eyes at the receiver. Maybe he didn’t know his dad as well as he thought. “Jesus, Dad! Was this an excuse for you to play matchmaker?!”

“…no…”

His fucking father! “Dad!”

“I just figured, if you RSVPed to your cousin’s wedding with a _boyfriend_ as your plus one, he’s the only one you have sounded mushy over.”

“Umm, mushy? I don’t-no wait, forget that! I didn’t RSVP! I wouldn’t have done that anyway! I would have stayed home and watched _Doctor Who_!”

“…and would you have invited him to watch with you, son?”

Quentin rolled his eyes, silently grumbling that his dad had him there. Still, he needed to try and save face. “He **and Margo** have standing invites to watch. Not. The. Point.”

He could hear his dad’s annoyingly satisfied smile. How was it fair that he knew him that well? “I knew you liked him.”

“Shit, Dad. It’s not like that.”

“I think it is. Your Aunt and probably half the family must think so too.”

Quentin slid to the ground and groaned.

“So…you’ll ask him to go?”

Quentin sighed. “Yeah, Dad. I’ll ask him. I’m going to owe him so big.”

Some sinister humor crept into his dad’s voice. “Who knows? Maybe he’ll catch the garter.”

Quentin narrowed his eyes. “You’re lucky I love you and have social anxiety.”

* * *

Comments and Kudos = Love!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eliot gets a clue. Quentin gets his date. There may be a tickle fight...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! So...the first chapter went over *very* well! So well, in fact, that it made me want to give everyone another chapter! Thank you all so much for the kind words and comments!  
> This is, as the first chapter, a cleaned-up extended version of the one I originally posted on Tumblr. I hope you all enjoy! :)
> 
> Comments and Kudos= Love!

* * *

For the rest of the afternoon, Quentin paced and worried about how he was going to ask Eliot to pretend to be dating him. Because this was more than just a wedding date now. Did his dad not get that?! Ted Coldwater didn’t just confirm that his aggrieved son was bringing a Plus 1. Oh no. He confirmed a _boyfriend_. And Quentin wasn’t just going to slip in the back of the ceremony and make a run for it as soon as the toasts were over at the reception. Nope. He was in the fucking wedding party! That meant things like having to go to the bachelor party, as well as a rehearsal dinner. What the hell was he going to do? It became more and more clear as he zombie-walked into the cottage that all his ideas made him feel more and more like a loser.

But how were you supposed to ask your incredibly wonderful, talented, amazing, sultry, and totally and completely _way out of your league_ best friend to pretend to be your committed beau to dupe your family?

Deciding nothing for it, he sighed and crawled upside down onto the couch. Maybe making all the blood rush to his head would help him think.

* * *

Eliot found his favorite boy laying upside down on the couch, adorable feet dangling off the back. Walking right past him he prepared two drinks at the bar, then sat down beside him. Quentin liked most of his concoctions when he went mad scientist bartender, but he always made this particularly pleased sound when Eliot added a little sour apple mix to his Physical Kids signature blue cocktail, making it glow a lovely ocean teal. Deciding that today looked like a day to spoil the handsome mopey moppet, he put one in his eyesight on the coffee table.

Eliot lifted his own glass to his lips but didn’t drink. “I get the feeling something is troubling you.”

Quentin sighed and drummed his fingers on his sternum. “Uh-huh.”

Eliot took his sip. He really was a genius mixologist

Quentin…remained annoyingly quiet. Something big was definitely on his mind. He had not even touched his drink.

But what could it be?

A rather unpleasant thought made his nose scrunch in disgust. Lord save him for the woes of straight boys. “It’s not women trouble, is it? I don’t think I can handle you whining about Alice not giving your ‘epic love’ a chance.”

Quentin didn’t react how he expected. The man let out an inelegant and unfairly cute snort. “I **wish** that was my issue. I’m, uh…” At this he finally looked at Eliot, giving him a quick sideways glance. “…kind of interested in someone else?”

That was big. Eliot smiled his best conspirator smile. After all, he was a bit curious. Just who caught Q’s eye if it wasn’t Alice?

“Well, color me surprised! Who is the lucky lady?”

Quentin finally sat up…and avoid eye contact. “Uh, not going to tell you who they are. You’ll just use it as gossip fodder for Margo.”

That made Eliot briefly pause. Not _her_ , but _they_. Interesting choice of pronouns, coming to his friend. His friend he could have sworn was completely straight. Against his better judgment, a little flicker of hope caught fire in his chest.

Eliot leaned close to the now upright man and practically purred at him. “Oh, you do know how much I like my fodder.”

His efforts were rewarded with a slight dimpled smile. Shaking his head, Quentin picked up his drink. “You’re such an ass, El.”

A little flirting between friends was healthy, right? “Yes, and what a spectacular one I have at that.”

Quentin’s smile grew into a grin like he just couldn’t contain it, and he rolled his eyes. “Carly Simon wants her song back.”

Eliot grinned right back. “It’s not vain if it’s true.”

Quentin didn’t answer back. Instead, he took a sip and let out that pleased noise Eliot strived for.

Eliot took a drink too.

They sat there in comfortable, companionable silence for a minute before Eliot broached the subject again. “Alright, I’ll bite. If it’s not love troubles, then what had you hanging like a depressed baby bat?”

Quentin, the bratty baby bat, lifted his eyebrows at him. “I didn’t say that it wasn’t, umm, about ‘love troubles’, just not about _Alice_. Who I am, yeah, really over. In a romantic sense.”

Eliot pounced. What exciting gossip! (Who the hell was his competition?) “So it _is_ love trouble?!”

Quentin…deflated. “Not…exactly? Just a bunch of, you know, misunderstandings that are going to either lead me to embarrassment or a panic attack.”

That sobered Eliot up. Panic attack and Quentin did not mix well. “That sounds serious.”

Quentin sighed and turned his whole body toward Eliot, tucking one oh his legs under his butt. "Okay. So…I talked to my dad earlier.”

“Is he okay?”

“Oh! Yeah. The treatments the Hedge doctor suggested seem to be working out.”

Eliot reached over and touched Quentin’s shoulder. “I’m glad. Your dad gives me faith that all fathers are not abusive fuck-ups.”

For just a second Quentin shot him a sympathetic look. He might not have told him everything about his past, but Q was a perceptive guy when he wanted to be. He obviously picked up that his life was not all rainbows and cocaine. “Yeah, he’s good…but he also does really annoying shit sometimes.”

That made Eliot pause again. He had never heard Quentin talk about Ted in that way. When Q talked about his dad, he was usually talking about how great he was. Either that or he got really sad. Since his dad was beating cancer, that type of talk was less and less frequent. Honestly, Eliot had no idea that Ted Coldwater _could_ be annoying. How interesting. He scooted closer and lifted an eyebrow. “Such as…?”

That’s when Quentin drained his glass…and leaned his world-weary head on his shoulder. “Misunderstandings. He and my aunt can’t seem to, well, ah, communicate without some tangled-up confusion being the outcome.”

Eliot couldn’t help it. He started to play with Quentin’s hair. Q didn’t seem to mind. “And what did he do?”

He felt Quentin tense at this. Whatever the problem was, this was where it stemmed from. "Well, Eliot, this time he somehow confirmed I was going to my cousin Wesley’s wedding when I didn’t even get the invite, volunteered me to be a stand-in groomsmen, and insinuated to my aunt that I am in a committed relationship and need to bring them to the wedding because she was the one to suggest it in the first place!”

Oh shit. Ted really made up for lost time on the annoying scale, didn’t he? No wonder Q was so anxious.

Eliot shifted their positions so Quentin could still lean on him, but that he could also lightly massage his shoulders. “Ouch. That is more than annoying. That’s a fucking problem.”

There was this thing about his little friend that Eliot had noticed. He leaned in to touch like a touch-starved house cat. Or like a daisy chasing a drop of sun. It didn’t really matter how Eliot was touching him, if he did, Quentin would melt right into it. Also like a cat, he would get really grumpy if you stopped petting him if he was comfortable.

Oh, the _things_ Eliot really wanted to do with that knowledge. Like sit behind him in a bath and slowly fuck him while caressing his cock. He bet Q would moan so prettily.

Unbeknownst to his filthy thoughts, he saw his fatigued friend close his eyes and finally let himself rest his full weight on Eliot. Like Eliot was somewhere comfortable for him to just be. Like he trusted him to hold him up.

Oh, how Eliot welcomed that weight.

Eliot cleared his throat. “So…what are you going to do?”

Quentin lolled his head to the side and shrugged. Some of that tension Eliot worked so hard to dispel came back. “What else can I do? My dad _needs_ me there. We’re not exactly close to his relatives. Any stress could be bad for his health.” Quentin closed his eyes again. “I’m going to the stupid suit fitting tomorrow…and I’m just going to have to beg someone to go with me and pretend to be my boyfriend.”

A vinyl record screeched inside his head. Not _Alice_. Not _her_. Not **_them_**. But- “Boyfriend?”

From his vantage point, he could see Quentin’s Adam’s Apple bob in his throat. “Uh, yeah. They’ve known I’m bi since 8th grade, and my aunt asked my dad if I was going to bring _‘a nice boy home’_.”

Eliot scrunched his face. “You don’t know any ‘nice boys’. All of your friends are assholes. Myself especially included.

Quentin didn’t even look annoyed. He looked fucking _delighted_. “That’s what I said!”

“That I’m an asshole?”

Quentin sat up and faced him, much to Eliot’s hidden displeasure. “That all my guy friends are assholes. Considering you are my friend, and a guy, it kind of tracks.”

Making grabby hands, Eliot pulled Q back to where he was. “Who are you going to ask, Q?”

Quentin froze. “Umm…”

Eliot wasn’t sure if he liked that _Umm_. “Hmm?”

“Well, ah…”

One of his best friends that he has lusted over since laying eyes on him just dropped this beautiful opportunity _almost literally_ into his lap…

But what if he took it away? What if he was thinking of asking _some other guy_ to go with him?! To introduce to his **family** as his _boyfriend_.

“Uh, umm, well… you see…”

Eliot panicked. If he found out that he came so close, only for Quentin to tell him that he was going to ask some fucking first-year simpleton…

No, that couldn’t happen. Not when he was so close. But how to derail that train of thought…?

Going for spontaneous fun instead of panic, he started to tickle Q under his armpit and at his belly.

Pearls of laughter wheezed out as Q’s throat as squirmed in his clutches. Breaking free, he turned and looked at Eliot with wild, burning eyes. “Jesus, Eliot! I’m going to get you for this!

Eliot’s quick hand struck out to wiggle his fingers into Quentin’s armpit again. “Oh yeah? Come get me, Coldwater.”

And come get him, Quentin **did**. He dove at Eliot with this exuberant battle cry. Touching everywhere to find the right spots. Q gave a positively feral grin that even Margo would be proud of when he made Eliot flail at squeezing his hips.

“Oh, you are going down, Waugh.”

The two attempted to get the other in a tickle battle, giggling like children. After a few minutes, Eliot finally pinned Quentin down on the couch.

Out of breath, he loomed over the other man and smiled. “I win.”

Quentin rolled his eyes. “Yeah yeah.”

That’s when their eyes locked. Warm mocha eyes seemed to widen at the realization of the position the men were in. Quentin’s thighs were slayed enough so allow Eliot room to be close. Quentin’s legs also crossed behind Eliot’s thighs, effectively trapping him in place. From where his palm rested, Eliot could feel the fast-paced pound of the adorable nerd’s heart, as if he were a rabbit caught in a trap instead of Eliot. How easy it would be for Eliot to shift down and take his mouth. With just a little shifting he could show Quentin how fun it is to let Eliot make him come in his pants.

But, no. Down boy. First things first.

Lifting his chin, Eliot decided to try for a little courage.

“Okay, I’ll do it.”

Quentin didn’t seem to know what he was talking about. He renewed his playful struggle. “What, tickle me again? You kind of have me pinned. But not for long!”

It was Eliot’s turn to roll his eyes. “No, Q. God. I’ll be your date.”

Quentin stopped moving. “Wait, really?! You’ll do it?”

It kind of stung that Q thought he wouldn’t do this for him. Throwing that from his mind, he went about locking this thing down.

“If not me, then who? Penny? _Todd_?”

If Todd even tried he would really turn him into a goat.

Quentin got quiet but looked at Eliot through his lashes. There was something bashful in his squinty eyes. “If I’m being honest, I don’t want to introduce either of them to my family as my boyfriend.”

Eliot felt his own heart pound. “But you don’t mind me?”

That bashful looked turned into an impish grin. “Well, like you said-“

He laughed and got a hand free to squeezed Eliot’s ticklish hip.

“- you’re the one with the spectacular ass!”

The little shit distracted him! Oh, this was war.

So, both tickled the other mercilessly, ultimately falling to the floor. Then they just stared at the ceiling and laughed catching their breaths.

When was the last time either of them laughed like that? When was the last time Eliot felt this _good_?

After a few minutes, Eliot pulled himself off of the floor. He dusted his clothes and resituated his waistcoat.

Quentin didn’t get up just yet. Leaning on one arm, he pushed his hair from out of his face and turned back to Eliot. “So…you’ll do it?”

Eliot pulled at the cuffs of his shirt, trying to swallow his excitement and need to fuck Quentin into the floor. “Hmm, yes. God knows you need me, and it will be fun to con your family. I’m thinking pet names.”

Quentin scowled. “Oh god, really?”

It was so fun to tease him. “What do you think of ‘sweetums’?”

The scowl only deepened. “Fuck no.”

Eliot grabbed his jacket from the coat rack and clapped at him. “We’ll work on it. Now come come.”

Quentin scrambled off the floor to stand next to him. The scowl was replaced by a bewildered blink. “Wait, where are we going?”

“We’re going out to dinner to come up with the perfect backstory. Then we’re taking you shopping.”

“ _We’re_ ”?

“Totally bringing Bambi.” Letting himself go to indulge just a little bit more, he leaned close and tucked Quentin’s fringe behind his ear. “If people are going to believe you’re my boyfriend, then you need to look pampered and cared for. Because any boyfriend of mine would be well fed, very happy, and very well fucked. I assume we don’t have much time before this event of yours, so we need a game plan to look like a believable couple.”

He thought Q might be a little thrown or sputter at the ‘ _very well fucked’_ comment. But if anything, he looked… _touched_?

That made Eliot relax and draw Quentin in under his arm. Maybe…maybe, with enough planning, Eliot could make this _real_.

Quentin just gave him a happy shrug. “Oh. Well, I guess that’s alright.”

Something occurred to him. “Oh, I’m also going to this ‘tailor’ with you tomorrow.”

He felt Quentin sag with relief. “Oh thank God. Thank you.”

Eliot squeezed him gently as they made their way to the portal point. “Of course. Any man of mine, even for pretend, must look good in a suit. I’m not going to let some hack get your measurements wrong.”

* * *

As Eliot prattled on towards the portal, Quentin could not help but feel a thrill. Maybe this who fiasco would be worth it, just to belong to Eliot for a little while.

Comments and Kudos= Love!


End file.
